At the moment I am fantasizing of all the amazing things I could have done for my PhD. In fact I am convinced that if I put my mind to it, I could probably have written my thesis. But NO - I'd rather not think about it and not use that part of my mind. I have kinda sorted my literature review, I know theres alot I need to do but I need to do loads before my meeting with my supervisors. I am worried about it as I know I will be pounced upon about committing to too much. Theres so much to do - I don't feel like this thing is ever going to be over.
I went to dragon palace today (a chinese restaurant in town), it was ok - we had Dim Sum. Obviously the vegetarian choices were limited but did what I could!!! It was nice for some of the group to get togehter in a social setting. Haven't done that for a while I don't think. Oh yeh we went there cos Barry is leaving LSL and now moving to Oceanography. During the meal I felt I kind of strange - all of a sudden worried about what I'm going to do when/if i finish my PhD - will there be a place for me in ECS or will I have to go else where? Where else can I go - will I be homeless - YES - now you know how my brain works. Its not me thats a drama queen its my brain!!!
Friday was a relief - i had some tests done and the results weren't what I had suspected. I was so scared (yes there were tears!!!). I felt bad as I had to miss the ECSWomens meeting and that whole week because I was getting more and more concernted about my stuff was useless. Its wierd how things like health can screw you up. Well it did me!!! But its all over - it does make me think though - what if the results went the other way?
I better do some work - byeeeeee - i'll probably check back on tuesday to say how my meeting went. Hopefully there wont be tears!!
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